Coping with Grief in a ‘Get Over it’ and ‘Move On’ World

Coping with Grief

When someone loses something very precious to them like a spouse, friend, family member or a lover the grief can be extreme. While experiencing the pain, it seems the hurt will never go away. A person may even feel he or she will never be the same or whole again. However, after months or a year into the sadness, people look at how the survivor handles the grief, and their sentiment is ‘He or she needs to ‘Get over it’ and ‘Move on.’

“But in all of the sadness, when you’re feeling that your heart is empty, and lacking, you’ve got to remember that grief isn’t the absence of love. Grief is the proof that love is still there.” ~ Tessa Shaffer, Heaven Has No Regrets

Grief is a type of emotion that has a life of its own; you never know how or when it will raise its head and take a toll on you. And more, it conducts every feeling within you, and sometimes there’s no way to distinguish it. There may be a day as to where you cry unfathomably, and some days you feel so hurt and numb that you can’t sob, and in other moments you are so unhappy or filled with a lot of pain you just don’t know what you are experiencing or just what to do.

Reflecting back on a time when my emotion overpowers me with sadness, I can remember feeling extremely sad sitting in front of the window with the blind up, and the curtain open gazing up at the stars viewing the beautiful night sky. As I looked up at the twinkling stars, and the dark sky, I can remember being over-emotional and full of thoughts. That night in many ways, my heart felt as if it would break into thousands of pieces as it palpitates in my chest and the ache I felt was unbearable.

“The ‘gift’ of grief is that it presents us with the opportunity to heal and grow.” ~ Jewish Proverb

I guess what brought about the flow of emotions I was keeping down is I had just stopped looking at the News, listening at all going on in the world today and how life is bittersweet. I didn’t think hearing very unpleasant or disturbing information would trigger all sorts of unsettling, uncomfortable and alarming feelings inside. But it did, and it made me realize I was not in touch with my emotional state, not enough to grasp I had so much sadness and pain buried inside. When a person doesn’t deal with the source of His or her pain, it sometimes comes out when they least expect it.

Moreover, all the unkind things the News broadcast share different cruelty that exists in the world. I think the segment that got to me the most is viewing the grief and hurt of many family members. To watch the video of how this young nineteen-year-old male with violent behavior, walks into a school to start a mass shooting and take the life of seventeen and injury fourteen. To see many cries and mourn the loss of their loved one was just heartbreaking. No person of sound mind would do such a thing and what he did is unbelievable and unthinkable.

After viewing the video, my thoughts were as long as sinful people live, and they refuse to accept responsibility for their action things will never get better. Furthermore, this generation and the one to come will continue to be shackled in chains, linked by sin that imprisons the soul. Because so much violence is going on, some of us box ourselves into a closed crate that we have carefully designed, trying to protect ourselves from the things we fear. But we must not do this because what we are doing is closing ourselves off to the possibility and significance of life.

To grieve, does not mean closing yourself inside a box or a crate. You must be willing to think outside the box and know there is something external better and accept the resources that will help you deal with your monotony. Devastating heartbreak like sudden illness, unexpected death or a surprising break up can leave us all feeling quite vulnerable and lost. And no matter how strong we think we are, trying to keep from feeling helpless is almost impossible. For that reason, it’s significant to keep in mind that even though you may feel powerless — you’re not. To all who have ever felt shattered and lost, you can reclaim your life and start again.

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