‘I Look to You’

whitneyWhen I welcome you into my life, I had much pain, no plans, no dreams and no hope. Living life as I knew it back then consist of just moving through it and merely existing — not living — I wasn’t living my life chasing pleasure, in whatever shape or form that ended in pain. The truth is, I had no commitment and drifted aimlessly without a purpose. Moreover, as I look at the face of the broken woman in the mirror, I reflect back on my life growing up in the early 70’s; my memories reflect a simpler time, a woman maturing into an increasingly self-reliant woman, at least until a couple of years ago. However, what made the last couple of years different, was that the dark clouds float into my life that carries thunderstorm, mists that made me feel like the world is crashing around me, ‘I Look to You.’

Not only this, being raised in church instilled in me a deep trust that if I’m loyal and always there for my friends and loved ones, they will also be there for me, but that inculcation ends up being built on a big, fat lie and a false foundation. In my life were peoples who wanted me to believe that everything has been decided for me and I had no choice in what I did. However, I couldn’t just accept others as choosing for me, and I can’t afford to waste my time doing things that not best for me or won’t better my life.

Taking a trip down memory lane contemplating back to the last couple of years, I am so flabbergasted at how my life has turned out. My life is nothing like I had initially planned. However, the thing that brought a smile to my face is who I am, my values, and my interests today. 2017 was a challenging year. Although there were undoubtedly high points, moments when light peeked through the darkness, sudden parts have me moving into the next year feeling frustrated and very worn out. Unexpected moment knocked me off course – disappointment, and circumstances, filled with letdown – left me with required time to pause and recoup energy, ‘I look to you.’

Despite having to overcome things becoming so slender going into 2018, I have learned the way I respond to hardships can have a significant effect on me. I can decide on obeying the commandments of God, which lead to His plan of happiness or I can follow Satan’s plan of misery. Furthermore, it doesn’t matter the circumstances in my life; I can choose joy or sadness as I am presented with a choice. What is more, it’s up to me whether my trails become roadblocks in my life or I can make them expressways to learning and growth. It is absurd to look at the enormous amount of pain that flourishes everywhere in the world, as it serves no purpose at all. Besides, unhappiness and much suffering to come are the direct results of sin.

I look to Thee in every need, and never look in vain;

 

There have been long seasons in my life where I felt like nothing was going right, everything was out of whack, and regardless of what I decide to do things went from bad to worst. However, one thing I have learned in recent years is life is what I make of it, and if I want to take full control of my situation, my strength should always be stronger than my circumstances. Moreover, whatever my conditions, there are things I can control, and things I cannot. Though, my primary focus is to be about the things I can control. There is personal suffering that we all can come to understand and when things get hard that I find it very hard to take on the trials of this world, ‘I look to you.’

Being born into an evil world means it is full of trouble, different things drove me crazy to the point where I was not sure whether to scream or laugh at all I been through over the years. In spite of this, I have learned to remember in those challenging seasons of life that changed everything…it does not matter how high my ambitions and expectations for myself, or no matter where I am in life if I am not happy, something needs to change. What’s more, no matter how terrible life may seem at any single point if a change can be made than do it, but if it can’t, learn to cope. From everything that I experience in life, it has brought me to the last person to say life is easy. In every difficulty in my life, whether big or small, ‘I look to you.’

No matter what evil stuff life throws my way, even if it seems hard to make it through, with you, I can be strong, when I’m too weak to handle everything alone. On my own, I’m prone to fall, but to stand, ‘I look to you.’ On those days where I feel hopeless like there is no point in living. During the times when negative and disturbing thoughts consume my mind and it, seem as if there NO way out, ‘I look to you.’ I have experienced days where my mind is overwhelmed that I overanalyze the issue and keep repeating the problem in my mind. I desire a release from an overflow of a troubled mind. I even experience days where I wanted to float away quietly on a cloud or just drift off into a haze where I only think of uplifting things far from the reality of this overwhelming life.

When things get very hard that it just all feels a lot of thoughts from one mind to have to control. The pressure of extreme thinking given is unbearable to live with, and the weight of the world is too much, and my way of living doesn’t match up to my pressure and standards. I take ages to get ready every day on the days when I feel able to try, but I am not keen enough, I lose the ability to control my home or food, then I think I will have absolutely nothing for the rest of my life is so far gone. When I am in the presence of other I feel I have to put on an appearance of appearing respectable and ‘ok’…nonetheless, in reality, I sometimes cry, scream, like a toddler who can’t deal with adult life.

Continue Reading: https://letterpile.com/inspirational/I-Look-to-You

I Didn’t Believe In Love Until I Found It With You

13837257As I reflect back upon the very first time, I met the guy of my dream. Before I even had the pleasure of facing Him and speaking to Him, I had this feeling that suggests the two of us have recently connected on a deeper level before. And when we did finally meet, and as…our eyes join, my heart raced, and somehow I knew…we would be instantly connected with a deep bond that compelled us spiritually forever. Although I did not know immediately, he felt the same way I did the entire time, when we spoke to each other at that moment it was the beginning of a beautiful journey and – ‘within minutes’ love transcended all then I knew we were in love.

He gave me a hug that felt like a dream come true, and as if we stayed in that embrace for what seemed like forever. As we begin to date each day continues to be full of joy, and life was full of new beginnings, He was my daylight when days seem dark and hard. We had such a connection until even when we said goodnight and went our separate ways it felt like we had never been apart. I felt like I could still feel Him near me. We shared strong unconditional love, and I am happy to say we got married and He is my husband.

Thinking back I can remember pondering before He entered my life, things were dreadful as there’s no joy in living your life alone with no trust in guys. I know I was not alone many women live alone by choice, and there’s no such thing as a “right” relationship, although it requires sincere at both ends. The way my life was going before He entered when I imagined my future, I visualize myself being alone, “Lonely” — with no one beside me. Although there are many females alone, when they envision their future, they picture it with someone alongside them. And there nothing wrong with that because if others were frank with themselves, they would admit that they prefer not to live their life alone.

I believe the reason many females envision their future as being alone because they dated different guys but there was no connection, and nothing blossomed into a real relationship. Some women might have thought they found love just to be disappointed to witness the guy happily settled down with someone else. Dating can be a very disappointing encounter, but if you want ever to find love, you can’t close your heart, and you must shake the nagging fear that you might end up alone.

My advice to any lady who fears being alone do not allow yourself to be consumed by loneliness, but instead, acutely be aware that the bulk of your time is spent alone and equate your self-worth with relationship status. When I felt as if I would spend my life alone, I did not know then that being single does not automatically strip a woman of her strength or doom her to closing her heart, love is still available and can be closer than she knows. But women you hold the key and the power to imagine your future, to picture it with the man of your dreams. It did not happen overnight with me, but I now understand and can share this advice from my experience with the man of my dreams.

Any female who is frustrated with her present life and want a relationship, she has to change her circumstances. Although finding love comes with heartaches, it can be a great adventure. When we open our heart to love it comes with risk, I took a chance, and it brought me more joy than I would have never imagined. Some women are alone because they are afraid to take a chance on love as they have been hurt from previous risks. Never give up on love, you will find it —I’m sure — it ’s closer than you think and it will be a different finish than expected.

Continue Reading: https://hubpages.com/relationships/httppammorrishubpagescomTRES-BIEN-ART-EXIBITION

Coping with Grief in a ‘Get Over it’ and ‘Move On’ World

Coping with Grief

When someone loses something very precious to them like a spouse, friend, family member or a lover the grief can be extreme. While experiencing the pain, it seems the hurt will never go away. A person may even feel he or she will never be the same or whole again. However, after months or a year into the sadness, people look at how the survivor handles the grief, and their sentiment is ‘He or she needs to ‘Get over it’ and ‘Move on.’

“But in all of the sadness, when you’re feeling that your heart is empty, and lacking, you’ve got to remember that grief isn’t the absence of love. Grief is the proof that love is still there.” ~ Tessa Shaffer, Heaven Has No Regrets

Grief is a type of emotion that has a life of its own; you never know how or when it will raise its head and take a toll on you. And more, it conducts every feeling within you, and sometimes there’s no way to distinguish it. There may be a day as to where you cry unfathomably, and some days you feel so hurt and numb that you can’t sob, and in other moments you are so unhappy or filled with a lot of pain you just don’t know what you are experiencing or just what to do.

Reflecting back on a time when my emotion overpowers me with sadness, I can remember feeling extremely sad sitting in front of the window with the blind up, and the curtain open gazing up at the stars viewing the beautiful night sky. As I looked up at the twinkling stars, and the dark sky, I can remember being over-emotional and full of thoughts. That night in many ways, my heart felt as if it would break into thousands of pieces as it palpitates in my chest and the ache I felt was unbearable.

“The ‘gift’ of grief is that it presents us with the opportunity to heal and grow.” ~ Jewish Proverb

I guess what brought about the flow of emotions I was keeping down is I had just stopped looking at the News, listening at all going on in the world today and how life is bittersweet. I didn’t think hearing very unpleasant or disturbing information would trigger all sorts of unsettling, uncomfortable and alarming feelings inside. But it did, and it made me realize I was not in touch with my emotional state, not enough to grasp I had so much sadness and pain buried inside. When a person doesn’t deal with the source of His or her pain, it sometimes comes out when they least expect it.

Moreover, all the unkind things the News broadcast share different cruelty that exists in the world. I think the segment that got to me the most is viewing the grief and hurt of many family members. To watch the video of how this young nineteen-year-old male with violent behavior, walks into a school to start a mass shooting and take the life of seventeen and injury fourteen. To see many cries and mourn the loss of their loved one was just heartbreaking. No person of sound mind would do such a thing and what he did is unbelievable and unthinkable.

After viewing the video, my thoughts were as long as sinful people live, and they refuse to accept responsibility for their action things will never get better. Furthermore, this generation and the one to come will continue to be shackled in chains, linked by sin that imprisons the soul. Because so much violence is going on, some of us box ourselves into a closed crate that we have carefully designed, trying to protect ourselves from the things we fear. But we must not do this because what we are doing is closing ourselves off to the possibility and significance of life.

To grieve, does not mean closing yourself inside a box or a crate. You must be willing to think outside the box and know there is something external better and accept the resources that will help you deal with your monotony. Devastating heartbreak like sudden illness, unexpected death or a surprising break up can leave us all feeling quite vulnerable and lost. And no matter how strong we think we are, trying to keep from feeling helpless is almost impossible. For that reason, it’s significant to keep in mind that even though you may feel powerless — you’re not. To all who have ever felt shattered and lost, you can reclaim your life and start again.

Continue Readaing: https://hubpages.com/health/Coping-with-Grief-in-a-Get-Over-it-and-Move-On-World